|Why did the Chicken Cross the Road . . .
GEORGE W. BUSH... I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE... I invented the chicken. I invented the road.Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
services to the American people.
RALPH NADER... The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN... To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH... I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll
bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real American take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART...No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
JERRY FALWELL...Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "otherside. That's what they call it - the other side.Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
DR. SEUSS...Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
ERNEST HEMINGWAY... To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.... I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA... In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
BARBARA WALTERS... Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON...Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE...It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX... It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN... This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE... I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN... What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK... To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER.... You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD... The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES...I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN... Did the chicken really cross the road or did the
road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON... I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE... And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS....I missed one?