Why it's great to be
a man . . .
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's bun's if someone
notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another
gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work.. more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to
make emergency panty hose adjustment.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest
when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch
is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister,
or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to
trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't
rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest
act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to
something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from
the passenger's seat.
You can quietly watch a game with
your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You don't have to clean your apartment
if the meter reader is coming.
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without
having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party
in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names
of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of
which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems
You are unable to see wrinkles in
The same hairstyle lasts for years,
You don't have to shave below your
Your belly usually hides your big
One wallet and one pair of shoes,
one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning
growing a moustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished
for 25 relatives, on December 24th in 45 minutes.