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Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding:  A case of wife or death. 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) 

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts.  In feudalism your count votes.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off. 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new  name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 

Local Area Network in Australia:  the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted.  It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye
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